Normalize Breastfeeding / World Breastfeeding Week 2018

My body feeds / contracts / reacts and breathes // I multiply / I replete / I complete cycles on repeat // I’m from the heavens / I’m from the earth / I’m from the places that you’ve never heard. – excerpt from Celestial Bodies

| n o r m a l i z e  B R E A S T F E E D I N G |

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Photo cred: Mama Niela. Click on the photo for more of her phenom work!

Is it cray to anyone else that we need to normalize something that’s…normal?! So normal in fact that it happens as naturally as breathing. The female body lactates, it’s what it does after giving birth. Yes, I’m aware that some women have issues with breastfeeding, I was one of those women, but my body did produce milk all on its own within days of birthing this big ole baby. For me, it was never a question of if I was going to breastfeed, if I could, I was going to, it’s what I was looking forward to the most, since that’s something I missed out on doing with my first. I did however romanticize the easiness of it. It was hard and really freakin painful. I had no idea how to do it or how much support I would need or that I would need to be taught how to do it. I envisioned birds would chirp around us as deer gathered at my feet and light beams shot out of us the moment his lips attached to my breast in an effortless latch. HAHA! Not quite. Thank Goddess for my midwife, postpartum doulas & lactation consultants (I was seen by 3!) because no one in my family had much advice on the matter as I contacted female family members crying and looking for encouragement only to find out that I was one of 3 out of 23 women in my immediate family to breastfeed. Yup. That’s it. It hasn’t been common, it’s def not normalized and breasts are still overtly sexualized and gross- ew boobs! I am part of a lineage of women who chose to formula feed vs breastfeed. I was a formula-fed baby, so I’m not completely dissing it. I seem to have turned out fine and I have one hell of an immune system. Finding out I was in the minority in my family tho led me to ask why on a larger scale and I began learning that women were sold “convenience” by a big ass *$70 billion industry and lied to about our milk. Women were made to feel that breastfeeding was inconvenient, dirty and that our milk, the one that is chemically altered on the daily to meet our babies needs, is inferior to formula and EVEN COW’S MILK for Goddess sakes! Why would I feed my baby another mammal’s milk if I have the ability to feed them my own…I rant. Scene.

I didn’t realize what a supportive breastfeeding bubble I live in, in Southern California until I traveled to the east coast this spring. I did not expect to feel so out of place, judged and even shunned while nursing my baby.
Here’s a few of the things I heard from my family:
Ugh! He spit up on me! It’s her milk, so gross. (Male to a group of male family members).
Oh god, you’re breastfeeding right now?! (Male. We were in the dark and Baby was in a carrier, but the mere thought of me breastfeeding was enough for him to have to leave the premises).
Could you cover up while we’re here? I don’t think 91yo Grandpa G can handle seeing you breastfeed. (Male).
I thought only my mom did that. (11 year old Female, because she has not seen ANYONE else nurse!)
You can give him some whole milk now. (Female, also a head nurse at her hospital. My son was 7 months old).
What’s your nursing plan? How long do you plan on breastfeeding him? (Male & Female from the east coast to the west coast x100, everyone feels the need to know how long I plan to whip out the titty to feed my baby as if it somehow affects their life).

All of the above and so much more because my son does not like to be covered up while nursing, I mean, would you want to eat blindfolded under an unventilated piece of fabric? This, is why we have to normalize. Our bodies, the female body, the ones that choose to birth, were also created to sustain our babies lives. In fact the World Health Organization recommends “breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.” In Amuuurica, we are dealing with dum dee dum dums in our government that didn’t even want to sign a breastfeeding resolution that basically states “countries should limit the misleading marketing of breast milk substitutes, as a mother’s breast milk has been shown to be the healthiest for children in decades of research.” And yet there’s more, “The resolution was expected to pass easily, but U.S. delegates aimed to remove language that encouraged countries to ‘protect, promote and support breast-feeding’ in an alleged alignment with baby formula manufacturers.” The American hypocrisy-democracy live in the sticky icky green-lined pockets of loyal lobbyists, who they brought WITH them to the damn Assembly in Geneva! Oh and PS., the US threatened other countries into not signing it until they were ultimately foiled by none other than MotherEffing Russia. How fitting?

If I still lived where I was raised, I’m not sure that I would have made it through those first 7+ weeks to my now “lookin hella easy” breastfeeding status. I can do this shit walkin, talkin and chewin gum now, so yeah, I’m a BF-G. To all of the badass breastfeeding Mamas out there, keep posting your beautiful boobies, your stories and the FACTS to support the Mothers that choose to and can breastfeed feel less nervous and more supported! No one should ever be shamed or sexualized (unless you’re into that) when it comes to feeding and connecting with our babies! I will continue breastfeeding (read: breastfeed forever) to normalize it in my own family!

I’ll leave you with this.

“A 2016 study published by The Lancet says breastfeeding could save the lives of 823,000 children and 20,000 mothers each year. In addition, universal breastfeeding could save $300 billion in reduced health care costs and improved economic prospects for children.”

*The Times reported that the baby food market is a $70 billion industry.

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– xOx

 

Fashion as Activism: Sparking Necessary Conversations

My sun // always remember // your light is not on a dimmer […]

Through love // my Sun // you are a healer to a mighty sum

excerpt from Solis: A Love Letter

Today I cried, inside a Pavillions with a stranger. Together, we made a scene, people heard and people saw. They saw two compassionate women in pain expressing outrage through tears, swear words, too many unanswered questions and a mutual empathy for humanity. We connected about our devastation. that there are children who are separated from their families and left alone at our borders. Why  is this shit happening? This isn’t right! Can I send breastmilk? Can I go to them, hold them, hug them, be a wetnurse? Send them to our homes! We didn’t and don’t care about the politics or the buearacracy or congress or “laws”. THESE are our children, get them back to their parents NOW. TODAY! Why is that not happening? This should be an immediate cease and desist, open the gates! It was a moment that we both needed to share today. Pure vulnerability.

What sparked this connection was relatively small, unexpected…or was it? The impetus? A pair of earrings. My Black Power fists, a symbol of solidarity, strength and resistance. An intentional accessory led to an uncomplicated invitation. A simple “I like your earrings” effortlessly accepted, “Thank you. I wear them to spark conversation and there’s a lot going on in this country that we need to be talking about.” And that was it. A few sentences casually tossed together to create the space that two spiritual sisters needed to connect, break, release and fortify.

Black Power Fists

Sinea, 

  My new soul sister friend, our energy intensified and was set on fire when we came together today. Keep your compassion alive, your vibrancy, stay on this path with your Warrior self. We need to be strong because we have work to do, work for those that are unable to. You are a part of the solution for the families whose lives they are trying to destroy. Thank you for reminding me that WE can and do move mountains. Humbled and honored to have shared space with you today. . ❤ J

By the time our communion closed, Sinea was in front of me and we held each other in a Divine embrace for a long time, fusing our light, energy so thick you could float on it. We committed to using our platforms, our voices and to take action. We cannot be complacent when there’s so much work to be done. So now,

: What can we do? :

  • Baby2Baby is collecting basic essentials to create bundles of highly needed items for immigrant children through their partnership with Kids in Need of Defense (KIND). Click here in  to purchase directly from the registry.
  • Here’s an actual factual article to help you understand the atrocities that have been happening, Slate has done a great job of updating this article almost daily to include more and more organizations that are being of service.
  • We can also write to the babies via the angels at Southwest Key Programs. Check out the info in the graphic below.

letters to kids

To everyone reading, DO something. Use your platforms, your voice, your dollars. These conversations are necessary, crying together is illuminating and healing. Hug each other (consensually) and ignite each other’s souls to do the work that we are meant to do. Make a difference in whatever way you can today, because you CAN. Trust.

– xOx

UPDATE :

Just learned of Melania Trump’s ridiculousness. This is how it’s done Mrs. Trump.

 

Pregnancy and Weed

Candles glow // I close eyes for the wishes I blow // Seeds I sow // For the chance to know // Your healing soul // Grow Flower grow.

This week I had the honor of guest writing for the blog, Jane Dope, “a blog by and for women who love Cannabis.” on the super taboo topic of smoking weed while pregnant. In the article, I share my personal thoughts and experiences. Here’s an excerpt:

“I’m a planner and a researcher living a hippie lifestyle. I don’t just put anything into or on my body without proper investigation, so to smoke during my pregnancy was a conscious choice.” 

I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to share my story on a female-driven platform for other conscious tokers. I hope that it can bring some understanding to those that may judge us and also share a light with those who feel alone or even ashamed by their marijuana use.

Peep the full story here.

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A gloriously full 10 months pregs!

– xOx

No Shit?! Plunging in on Elimination Communication!

Swirl around and around // Going down down down // Swallowing yesterday // We stand // Free from waste // Creating space // Today’s clean slate. 

And we begin, Day 1. 

I have a hippie friend named Aurora who I love dearly, we share the same passions for being ridiculously Earth-conscious, being comically frugal and being referred to as “crunchy af”! 🙂 She’s my play-wife. Our kids are 16 months apart and Aurora has been hella influential in the way I have incorporated crunchiness since even before baby’s birth (she’s the one that started me on the home birth kick and encouraged my vegan pregnancy!). When Aurora told me that she was doing Elimination Communication (EC) aka infant potty-training aka baby peeing and pooping in the toilet before they can even walk and talk, I KNEW I’d be following her down this yellow brick road.

Last week, Aurora gifted me her 2 year old daughter’s former potty, a two-toned hot pink Minnie Mouse potty complete with a lid (he needs to learn y’all!) and a hand-le that shouts “Hip Hip Hooray!” when you “flush”! This potty is a epitome of our relationship! For one, t’s a hand-me-down so no waste and no having to purchase any new plastic items. Two, it was FREE and three, we’re freakin potty-training our infants, well, Aurora’s on her way out! Before I left with my Disney donation, Aurora advised me to start watching for Ro’s cues before and after he peed and to start sitting him on the toilet after every feeding. Check!

This week, I decided to go next level and went down the internet rabbit hole of EC and discovered a woman named Andrea Olson, author of Go Diaper Free, she seems to have this stuff down to a simplified science. I mean, I’m definitely aware that I’ll be teaching a new human to use a toilet, so it will be hit or miss some days, but this lady has 4 kids and they’ve all been out of diapers before the age of 2, so basically I’m going to follow all of her advice! When I read the statistic that most kids in the world are out of diapers around the age of 1 and in America the average baby is in diapers until the age of 3, I was sold on the idea, I mean duh! For the Earth, for our budget and because I believe that this is possible and I’d rather do it now than later when work picks back up or I have another bebe on the way! One of my favorite lines from her website re: our kids and their poo, [do we] “teach them to ignore their instincts, train our kids to poo and pee on themselves and pretend it isn’t there, give them the huge responsibility to train themselves out of something we’ve trained them into? Do we dishonor the Earth by stuffing Her with poo-filled Pampers?” Right?! Because no matter how they label disposable diapers “Pure Pampers”, they don’t break down and they’re mountains of them in our landfills, full of biodegradable waste. Ugh! Makes me so mad! (Side note: use cloth diapers people!) Andrea also shares that in the 1950s, it was common for babies to be potty-trained by 9 months, moms weren’t gonna hand wash those cloth diapers forever! Hell no! I know I’m not about to. Go to Andrea’s site, she has some outstanding free resources, plus monthly q&as and a fantastic blog! If you’re interested in finding out more, seek her out, she’s also on IG. I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface and I feel confident that if I follow her advice, we will be successful!

TODAY, I decided to start putting babes on the toilet for all “pottytunities” as Andrea suggests AND MY BABY PEED IN THE TOILET y’all!! He is not sitting on his Disney throne yet, he’s still wobbly in his sitting and it’s not comfortable for him, so I’ve just been straddling the adult toilet backwards and sitting him in my lap with his thighs in my hands, penis pointing down while I let him stomp on the toilet lid and rip up toilet paper, it’s his new thing and it totally keeps him occupied while we sit there from 10-20 minutes. His incredible first pee happened on our 3rd time on the toilet after we came in from walking the dog, I took him out of his carrier, (a “pottytunity”!) and we sat down, he peed within 2 minutes! I may have gotten a little on my pants, but WHO CARES?! MY BABY PEED IN THE TOILET! I won’t get too crazy excited, I know there’s more consistent work to do and I am all for it! Ro is 7 months and my goal is to have him out of diaper dependence by 15 months! Can it be done?! Stay tuned!

– xOx

The Many Uses of Coconut Oil

Let me lick you up and down til you say stop. – Silk

Check out 5 different ways to use coconut oil here.

I love me some coconut oil. You can use it for practically anything I swear! My top daily uses are:

  1. Oil pulling!This 3,000ish year old practice comes from Ayurvedic medicine. You swish coconut oil around in your mouth for about 20 minutes to release the demons! and to pull toxins out. Spit it out when done, do NOT swallow (that’s what she said!). “Recent studies show that oil pulling helps against gingivitis, plaque, and microorganisms that cause bad breath.”
  2. Moisturizer!– Raw shea butter is hella hard, so I add coconut oil to it and blend it up together to make a creamy and luscious body butter. I use it on my hands, my feet and for my abdominal womb massage nightly.
  3. Hair growth!– My main squeeze is trying to grow his hair out and Southern California is hella dry, so I mix Tea Tree Oil in a glass container with coconut oil to massage into his scalp, this stimulates hair growth and combats the dry flakies! It’s a 2fer! 2 treatments in 1 mixture!
  4. Cooking!– I love the taste of coconut, it makes me feel like I’m in the tropics somewhere. Coconut oil doesn’t break down at high temperatures like other oils so it’s good for high temp cooking, especially rice dishes (mmmmm!). Now I know some people don’t prefer the taste of coconuts (like how?) but Trader Joe’s got ya covered, they make a triple filtered coconut oil that takes most if not all of the wonderful coconut flavor out. If you don’t live near a TJ’s, you can also get it here!
  5. LUBE!– yes honey! Lubrication for sexy time! Coconut oil is naturally antiviral, antibacterial, and antifungal, isn’t that amazing?! It got me smellin like a damn summer paradise between the legs and between the sheets! I used to work in sex retail and I’ve used a plethora of lubes from silicone, to water and all those in between and coconut oil is by far my fave! It works for partner use and solo play either with or without your adult toys. Side note: Make sure all your toys are high grade silicone, glass, metal or crystals! 🙂 Those are the only materials I recommend to go into your body, this goes for men, women and non binary!
  6. Baby’s Bum and other skin irritations!– This wasn’t in the original video, but coconut oil is a daggone miracle worker! Anytime my son has a small skin irritation, whether that be in his diaper area or under his armpit or some other roll that’s not being clean properly b/c babies stay sweatin, I clean it and then put a little coconut oil on it and BAM! it’s gone by the next day if not in a matter of hours!

I’ve listed my top 6 daily uses here, but there’s so many more!! Here’s an article from another awesome mama with 101+ uses and benefits for home AND beauty! That’s so many!!

So what are you waiting for? Go get some right now!

– xOx

#Enough! // “When the bullet strikes”

For over a century // We have helped hunters and saviors and warriors // We were made to ensure safety // But we are ending up too often in the wrong hands… excerpt from When the bullet strikes by Idris Goodwin

In October 2016 I was part of the Los Angeles team that produced The Every 28 Hours Festival, a collection of 72 one-minute plays centered around a study from 2012 that showed “that every 28 hours a black person was extrajudicially killed by vigilante, security guard, or the police in the United States.” The play festival was sparked in 2014 by the events in Ferguson and created by Claudia Alick “developed with The Oregon Shakespeare Festival and The One-Minute Play Festival with over one-hundred artistic collaborators across the country. Collaborators include Tony award-winning artists, activists, family members directly affected by police violence, politicians, cultural organizers, and law enforcement.” In February 2017, my co-producers and I were commissioned to mount another production at Cal State Dominguez Hills. This month, March 2018, we must continue the conversation because it wasn’t just a one-off production for us, but a message and a movement that we must continue, to stand, to march and resist. In support of our youth and the March For Our Lives, we bring you a video collaboration of the one minute play When the bullet strikes by Idris Goodwin, one of original collaborators and writers for The Every 28 Hours Play Festival. I’m looking forward to the year that this is a memory of a festival that we produced and not something we have to continue to add names to.

In memory of Stephon Clark.

– xOx

 

Why I Chose to Home Birth

You are // made from everything // That I am // We are // made from everything // That the stars are // I can feel // Your heart // beat // Within mine // The rhythm // Of a blood that runs deep // thru valleys and peaks… excerpt from 19th Birthday.

See why I chose to birth at home here.

I never thought that I would want a home birth. In fact, I swore I would never not have an epidural when giving birth. Why would I choose to feel pain? That’s crazy talk. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I would have anymore kids. However, I did know if I were to have another baby, it would be under much different circumstances than my first. I was 14 years old when I got pregnant and a lot of, like all of, my decisions were made for me. I couldn’t drink (legally), I couldn’t drive (legally), I couldn’t buy cigarettes (you see the pattern here) and I was told exactly what would happen to my body and to my baby without asking me what I wanted or how I felt. I was induced early, I was given an epidural and I placed my baby girl in an open adoption all by the time I was 15 years old. It was rough, for a very long time. As difficult of a time that it was for me, I do want to add that I’m very grateful for the family that adopted my daughter and the closeness we’ve been able to have over the years. They are my extended family, but it still wasn’t my choice. I had no voice during my pregnancy (which I hid for the first 6 months), the delivery or postpartum. Shoot, I didn’t even really know what postpartum was until my recent birth. I am sure that I suffered from PPD, but I shoved it all down, deep deep down into the crevices and numbed it up with substance abuse.

Fast forward to adulthood and living in Southern California amongst the hippies with homebirthers all around and I’m starting to like the sound of this home birthing business, that’s actually not a business at all, (please watch The Business of Being Born, it’s pretty much what sold me on the whole idea at the end). Having a home birth would mean that I had total say over my birthing experience, the environment, who would be present at my birth, I would be in my home from start to finish, with my delicious home-cooked food, my music and the energy that we’d been creating in the space. I envisioned that after my hypnobirthing experience where I breathed my baby down and out through affirmations that my midwife would shower me and put me into bed with a warm meal and a baby suckling effortlessly at my breast. Very romantic, n’est-ce pas? Is that what happened? …kind of…no not really, but that’s for another post. Although it may not have been as romantic, we did have a successful home water birth and I delivered my big ole, 9lbs 2oz, healthy, veggie-made baby boy at 11:11pm on September 18, 2017 and for that I am forever grateful.

– xOx